BTL - Chapter 15

She knew exactly what he meant...why was everything so complicated...why couldn't they just switch off this attraction and need they felt towards each other...why couldn't they just let go of whatever existed between them and pretend like it was never there...that their hearts did not beat erratically when the other was in proximity...that the thought of seeing each other did not make them restless and feel more alive...that life was not a better place with the other in it...why? Why couldn't they stop falling for each other? More and more...deeper and deeper...every single day!

She felt tears prick her eyes as she walked slowly but purposefully towards him...her body trembled while his stiffened at her approach...she stood at a feet's distance from him before placing her warm palms on his face bringing it closer to hers as she touched her forehead to his...she felt rather than heard the sharp breath that he took at the contact...as both closed their eyes with arnav's arm's going familiarly around her tiny waist, khushi whispered "I wish I knew what to do Arnav...I wish I knew"

Arnav sighed as he felt his body react to her closeness...the calm and peace he felt with her was much more potent than anything he had ever felt before...it was as if she made him forget everything around him...he was not Arnav Raizada with her...he was not Crispin pike with her...he was just Arnav...not a man who always felt left out, who always felt ignored and insecure...who always felt like he wanted to hide away from the world...something which he was an expert now...but with her, he felt he was whole...just Arnav

They did not know who succumbed first as their lips met in a gentle kiss...completely opposite of how they came together before...there was a serenity in the kiss...a kind of sear that went straight to their hearts, caressing the beating organ with its calm intensity...Khushi held in her breath as she closed the rest of the distance between their bodies by pressing herself against him..her softness moulding perfectly with his hardness

She moaned as he swiped his tongue longingly over the seam of her moist lips as he urged her to open up for him...and she knew it was futile not to give in to their twin desires, making him groan deep in his throat as he finally found the sweetness he craved...their tongues danced together in a beat of their own as their hands travelled feverishly over each other...the sweetness of the kiss, now turning into a fierce passionate mating

Khushi hung onto his neck as her fingers grasped the slightly grown hair at his nape...she felt Arnav's lips leave her swollen ones to traverse over her jaw and then her delicate neck...she gripped him hard as he nipped her there while pulling her t-shirt down, giving him an unrestricted view of a perfectly rounded shoulder only marred by a satiny bra strap...khushi ran her hands down his back to slip her hands inside his jumper to feel the rippling muscles beneath, making her want more and more of the gorgeous man in her arms

Sensing her urgency, he pulled his jumper off as her darkened eyes took in his delicious male perfection...he did not give her time to think as he took her lips again in a turbulent kiss while pulling her t-shit off her, leaving her standing only in her bra and shorts...his hands went to her curved bottom to grasp it possessively as she rubbed one leg over his making him want to take her then and there...they had no semblance of anything around them as they found themselves walk further into the room and tumble headlong onto the soft bed

Khushi reveled in the feel of Arnav lying over her as her body went up in flames...she gasped as his hands caressed her taut tummy and smooth legs, moaning in abandon as he rubbed his hardened self over her, making her insides pool with a liquid heat...she placed her lips on his chest while his hands went to her back to take off the little bit of fabric keeping her shielded from his heated gaze, but she stilled in his arms when the carelessly latched window of her room surged open to let in a cold blast of air, making her aware of how far they had come...and along with the realization came a sense of morality which she had all but abandoned in this dizzying haze of passion...

She looked up quickly to find the swirling desire in Arnav's eyes replaced by concern as he gazed at Khushi's worried face...he understood her unspoken words as he kissed her softly of her forehead before pulling away from her and handing over her t-shirt that lay on wooden floor near her bed...he faced away and sat on the edge of the bed as she quickly got up and wore it; her hands trembling as the remnant of their passionate encounter left her shivering.

She saw him turn his head slightly towards her as he tried to get his breathing under control "Khushi...I...I'm..." he started saying as khushi scooted near him and wound her arms around his bare one "It's ok Arnav...we got carried away...I...I know we should have stopped..." she said as he chuckled "But we didn't..." he said as she smiled shyly

"Yes...we didn't...I don't think either of us can help it..." she said as Arnav shook his head "Nope...you have much more control then me..." he said as khushi blushed "I wouldn't know...this is all very new for me..." she said as Arnav looked properly at her crimson face... "Have you never..?" he asked her as she shook her head "Its not like I haven't dated and all...but I have never gone this far Arnav...that's why all this scares me so much...I don't understand my reactions around you" she said as Arnav felt a kind of elation at her confession of being this intimate with him only

"I don't either Khushi...but I know this much that for the first time I don't want to analyze and think about anything...I know how unlikely things are between us, knowing our difference in opinions and how we see life in general...but..." he said as Khushi laid a finger over his lips "Don't say another word...lets just not think about all this Arnav...please...I don't think I can...not right now..." she said as he nodded and kissed her once again on her forehead

"Ok...lets leave it for now...you get some sleep all right?...good night" he said as she smiled softly at him...he got up and gathered his jumper before looking at her with a slight smile as he walked out, closing her door softly behind him...Khushi slipped back into her bed and rested her head against the headboard...what was it between them, that logic and common sense just did not seem to bind their resolves...they would have probably gone all the way today if her dazed mind had not stopped her from taking things ahead

She sighed as she switched off the bed-side lamp and curled back into the sheets...closing her eyes she replayed their passionate kiss in her mind as her body hummed in unfulfilled desire...she blushed as she thought of being with him in the most intimate way...something she had never seen herself in with anyone else...she never knew when sleep claimed her as she drifted into a sweet dream filled with guava trees, coffee and her own preferred brand of Mr Raizada.

On the other hand Arnav could not help but stay awake...he still could not get over the strong feelings he had for khushi...should he just let go this time? Should he just take that plunge finally? Let someone into his lonely life...someone he could share all his joys and pains with...someone who will revel in his achievements and lend a shoulder in his grief? Someone who would bring him a cup of coffee and wake him up in their warm bed every morning?

The thought was so exhilarating that he could not help but feel excited and happy about it...he was the one who had told khushi not to hope for anything from him when now, he himself wanted to hope...for her, for them...it was too soon to think what these feelings are and where they would lead him...but this much was clear that he wanted her in his life...he could not think of going back to an empty house and dual characters anymore.

He looked at his desk that held his trusted laptop and notebook...how would she react when she come to know that he was the same author she read so attentively? He wanted to share so many things with her...stuff that he had kept suppressed inside him...things that he had never shared or spoken to anyone...he quickly got up from his bed and walked to the desk...there was no way he could sleep with such thoughts running through his head...so it was best for him to get some work done instead

But how can one work when the person they want t be with is sleeping, but a few paces away in another room...shutting the laptop down after listlessly staring at its screen for a few minutes, Arnav went back to his bed to get some sleep...he would have to talk to Khushi tomorrow...he had to know what she wanted as well...how would this work?

...

"Arnav?"...he heard his name being spoken in her sweet voice...calling out to him from his deep slumber... "Arnav..." she said again as his lips curled up in slight smile...he could feel the cool morning breeze drifting in from his verandah...'wait'?...who opened his verandah door?...his eyes snapped open as they came to focus on the one face he had seen over and over in his dreams last night... "Khushi?" he asked her as she giggled and got up from his bed "yes! Its 10 in the morning Arnav...VK and Smitha have gone for a wedding...you didn't wake up on your usual time, so I thought I should wake you up" she said as Arnav stretched his back and sat up..his eyes lazily wandering over her slim form, clad in a yellow sundress

"Good morning" he said finally as Khushi blushed under his heated gaze...she was acting like a fool in front of him, blushing and stammering like she never had...what was it about him that made her feel so disoriented? "Good morning" she said as he smiled and gestured to the coffee she was holding "Is that for me?" he asked her as she looked down at her hands "Yes...I got it for you" she said as she bent down and kept the cup on the table beside his bed "The breakfast is ready...why don't you freshen up?" she said as she straightened up to leave when Arnav caught her wrist loosely in his

"Why did you come Khushi? Was it just to wake me up?" he asked as his heart did a little flip...remembering what he had wished for last night...someone to get him coffee in the morning...he saw her cheeks color up as she looked away "Uh...yeah, why else...I mean...like I said...its pretty late and you have work to do..." she trailed as Arnav pulled her hand making her land on his lap...her hands went instinctively to his shoulders as he leaned forward and buried his head in her fragrant, freshly washed hair...he smiled as he felt a shiver run up her body making her shift restlessly in his hold

"Do you know what I wished for last night Khushi?" he asked her as she shook her head mutely...she could not for the life of her make herself get up from where she comfortably sat right now... "I wished I could have someone to wake me up everyday with coffee..." he said as his lips left a feathery kiss on her nape, making her take in an unsteady breath "I want you to think this carefully Khushi...You did not want to talk about this yesterday...but we need to...soon" he said as he pressed another kiss on her cheek before loosening his arms from around her

She quickly stood up from his lap as he smirked at her slightly shocked expression...she knew that Arnav wanted to talk about them, he made it pretty clear last night...but what he just said...about being with each other everyday? What was he saying?... "I'll see you at breakfast sunshine" he said with a smile as Khushi stared mesmerized at his face, so boyish and relaxed...like she had never seen before...he looked so handsome...so serene

"Seriously Khushi? Do I have something on my nose? Or am I just so handsome that you can't take your eyes off me?" he teased her as she felt her cheeks heating up again at her blatant staring... " I was just..." she said as he raised his eyebrows...his smile still intact...damn it, she'll lose it if she stays here for another second "See you outside..." she said before quickly making her way out of his room...she could hear his laughter as she closed his door and walked towards the dining area...her own face beaming in happiness...today she really did feel like her name.

BTL - Chapter 14

The whole day passed in a kind of laziness that was bought out by everyone waking up very early in the morning...save for Arnav who had gone straight ahead to his room to work and had only come for a few minutes to have his lunch; he had said that he had a sudden inspiration and had to write up his thoughts and structure his chapters as soon as possible

Khushi had even knocked at his door around early afternoon to call him for some coffee but he had declined saying he will have it later, not sparing a glance at Khushi...her curiosity in knowing about his work increased as she saw him religiously type away on his laptop, not caring about anything else around him.

She had left him after that for the rest of the day as she herself got busy with getting the house ready for the external painting...the painters had come in the afternoon to fill up the cracks and do the preliminary work so that they could start painting from the day after once everything dries up...Khushi was busy going over the color chart for the external walls, when she heard a car honking continuously at the gate

She got up and went to the front door to see who it was that was destroying their peace with his incessant honking...after quickly putting on her slippers, she walked out to the gate and squealed in delight as she saw a man in his early thirties get out of a swanky SUV, now parked right in front of her gate.

"Oh My God!!! Vinod!!!" Khushi shouted in joy as she enthusiastically opened the gate and let the man come in before hugging him hard...she laughed as he hugged her back leaned back to look at her face "I can't believe i'm seeing you after soo long!!" he said as Khushi nodded and chuckled "5 years to be exact!" she said as they remained in close proximity to each other with pure joy reflected on their faces, it was only when a loud 'Ahem' sounded behind them that they turned around towards the house.

Khushi's eyes widened as she saw Arnav standing stiffly on the first step of the house staring at Vinod and her...she quickly stepped away from him before calling Vinod inside the house as he looked on in amusement between Khushi and Arnav... "Your husband?" he asked her as Khushi quickly colored up before shaking her head vigorously "No!" she said loudly as Arnav glared at her before walking towards them

"It doesn't matter who I am...but whoever you are, please stop honking your car...apart from creating noise pollution it completely kills the tranquility I had paid for in this house!" he said scathingly as Khushi looked at him in horror and anger ...'what was wrong with him!' she thought as Vinod put his hands up while Khushi came to stand in front of him "Arnav? Vinod only honked a few times...I apologize if you were disturbed...you won't be anymore" she said as she caught hold of Vinod's hand and dragged him inside while Arnav looked on in mute anger...

He knew he over-reacted, but watching khushi throw herself in that man's arms and hearing her laugh with him had made him red hot jealous...true he had no rights on her...but...what could he have done when after an entire day's tiring work, he had finally found some time to have that cup of coffee with Khushi only to find her ensconced in someone else's arms...he head heard the honking as he had walked out of him room and had followed Khushi out to see the entire scene that played out...who was this guy?

He walked in sullenly to find them in the kitchen as Khushi made filter coffee for him...the same one that he liked...he pretended to look for something in the living room as his eyes wandered towards the opening that looked over into the kitchen, to find both of them engrossed in something funny as Khushi's body shook in mirth...he saw the guy walk closer to her as she held out a coffee mug to him...that was it!

Arnav took quick steps into the kitchen as both Khushi and Vinod stopped talking...ignoring both of them, he went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water before chugging it down...he was just capping it back on when Khushi broke the awkward silence "Come Vinod...we can go and chat in my room...there is soo much we need to catch up on...plus i'm gonna call amma...she will be delighted to talk to you" Khushi said as Vinod nodded mutely and followed her out...he would have probably burned to ashes if he would have looked into Arnav's eyes

Khushi took a deep breath as she led Vinod inside her room...she was extremely annoyed with Arnav for the way he behaved and was also a little bit bewildered at his behavior...he was never the kind of person to lose his cool on someone like that...except for that time with the gardener...but Vinod was...she shook her head and turned back to resume her conversation with vinod who seemed to be a little bit vary about her tenant...after reassuring him that everything was ok, khushi went back to chatting with him...with a part of her brain still hell bent on analyzing Arnav'e behavior.

...

"Sir? Its nearly dinner time...are you still very busy?" VK asked as he stepped inside Arnav's room who looked up tiredly from him laptop...since the time he had seen that Vinod with Khushi, all his focus on the book had vanished, making him restless about both of them together...the only thing keeping him from doing something stupid was that khushi had kept the door to her room slightly ajar, making him relax a little bit...but not much

It had been nearly two hours now since that incident outside and Arnav was no where near to getting over it...he looked at VK and nodded "Yeah, i'll come in 5 minutes..." he said before asking him another question "Uh...are Khushi and her friend here for dinner? I mean...did he leave? That...uh...Vinod?" he asked VK who smiled at him "Khushi babyji and Vinod baba have gone out for dinner...its only you sir" VK said before slowly closing the door

Arnav did not seem to understand why he suddenly had this dull ache in his chest...he tried to take deep breaths but the thought of Khushi being with someone else...someone who she seemed to be knowing very well...was eating up at him...his irrational behavior from earlier was owing to his growing fondness for khushi...for her company...her smile...her madness...her stupid sleuthing abilities...her kindness...he could not bear the thought of her with someone else...but he also knew he had to control his feelings...after the morning agreement on starting over again...he had no right to feel this way...

...

Khushi reached home very late after Vinod dropped her off...she had actually had a lot of fun discussing their childhood and everyone else in the family...lots of new and old gossips had kept them in splits for most of the evening...how she missed them all!...she smiled as she opened the door only to come face to face with Arnav who was just about to step out

Her face fell as he tried to catch her eye but she avoided him completely as she made her way past him into the house... "Khushi?" he called out as she reached the inner part of the living room...she stopped and turned around to find him walk towards her with slow steady steps, just as he was about to say something, VK walked out from the kitchen and asked her enthusiastically "Did Vinod baba go home? You must have had a great time with him na babyji?" he asked her, completely unaware of a pair of smoldering eyes trained on him

Before Khushi could say anything to him, she saw Arnav turn briskly and walk out the door making her look up in shock...'what was wrong with this man and his mood swings! Was he PMS'ing!' she thought as she answered VK and went to her room...she had enough of Arnav's weird behavior to last her a week...now all she wanted was to sleep...let him be damned! She thought as she kicked her door close

...

Arnav got back half an hour later, a little bit tired in body but pretty controlled in mind...he had once again behaved irrationally after giving himself the pep-talk about apologizing to her...yes he was seething...the familiarity with which even VK had spoken of this vinod guy had left him further stunned...he seemed to be someone very close to all of them, and he will be damned if he doesn't know more about him...he could hardly eat let alone work as these questions had plagued him throughout the day.

He got into the house and went to the kitchen to find everything closed off...it was very late and obviously VK had gone to sleep...he walked out and saw a thin sliver of light coming from Khushi's bedroom...it took him less than a second to make up his mind as he went and knocked on her door...if she could question him about having a wife, he too could question her about having a...whatever that Vinod was.

He waited impatiently as Khushi finally opened her door...he saw her shocked face but hardly gave her a second to react before letting himself inside her room and closing the door...she stepped a few paces back as he stood in front of her now closed door and looked accusingly at her

"Who was he? That guy? Was he your boyfriend? Or an ex maybe? Or maybe he is your to-be something?...or maybe" he asked her as her face went from shock to bewilderment to amusement to anger..."Enough Arnav!" she said as Arnav stopped taking and looked at her pointedly

"If you are talking about Vinod? He is my cousin...my mom's sister's son who lives in Bangalore...he came to visit me since he came to know I was here for a few days...his 'Wife' is from coorg and he is staying here for a few days as she is pregnant and at her parents...I went there to meet them for dinner..." she said as Arnav felt shocked at the revelations...never had he even thought for a second that he could be a relative...he took a deep breath as he saw khushi's lips tremble in anger and annoyance at him...he knew he had hurt her a lot

"Khushi...i'm sorry..." he said finally as she looked at him...she saw him lower his eyes guiltily and knew what he must have gone through when he must have thought that Vinod and she were romantically inclined...she could relate to that since she had herself felt that emotion recently...so she did not hold it against him...she nodded slowly and turned away from him and went towards her window as he kept standing at the same spot

After a few more seconds of silence, she heard Arnav speak " I was jealous Khushi...very jealous when I saw you with that man...I...I didn't know what happened to me as I lashed out at him...this...this thing between us is making me restless and I don't know what to do...I could not even work anymore as I kept thinking about you with him...and it irked me that you were laughing and hugging him...I want...shit! I don't know what the hell I want!" he said exasperated as khushi suddenly turned towards him and spoke softly "I know Arnav...I know" she said as she made her way solely towards him

She knew exactly what he meant...why was everything so complicated...why couldn't they just switch off this attraction and need they felt towards each other...why couldn't they just let go of whatever existed between them and pretend like it was never there...that their hearts did not beat erratically when the other was in proximity...that the thought of seeing each other did not make them restless and feel more alive...that life was not a better with the other in it...why? Why couldn't they stop falling for each other? More and more...deeper and deeper...every single day!

She felt tears prick her eyes as she walked slowly but purposefully towards him...her body trembled while his stiffened at her approach...she stood at a feet's distance from him before placing her warm palms on his face bringing it closer to hers as she touched her forehead to his...she felt rather than heard the sharp breath that he took at the contact...as both closed their eyes with arnav's arm's going familiarly around her tiny waist, khushi whispered "I wish I knew what to do Arnav...I wish I knew"

BTL - Chapter 13

Khushi smiled warmly as the women gathered around the pond sprinkled water over her head as they blessed her while she let the decorative clay pot bedecked with flowers and large chunks of rock sugar into the water to float and join the others that had gathered around the other end.

She thanked the older women who were Smitha's acquaintances and had jumped at the chance of a single woman praying for a good husband...though Khushi had secretly not asked anything of the sort. She bunched up her sari in one hand while holding on to her pooja thali as she made her way up the slippery stairs where all the men were praying from and keeping a watch on their wives and daughters.

She saw VK help Smitha as she carried a small copper kalasha full of the holy water which she would use to make the payasam later for lunch...She wiped the sheen of sweat that had formed on her forehead while her loosely plaited hair swung around her back as she walked to the top and sat down near one of the secluded sitting areas where not many were present. She had asked VK and Smitha to go on forward as she wanted to spend some more time here

She smelled the earthy scent of the wet mud as the cool breeze lifted the wayward strands of hair away from her face, bringing in the delightful smell of the mogras she was wearing in her hair...courtesy of one of the aunties who was scandalized to find her hair devoid of any flowers and her forehead without the customary bindi

She smiled, as a sort of exhaustion lulled her into a relaxed state as she closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind...she had hardly slept all night as thoughts of 'What if's..' and 'Maybe's..' kept haunting her...she could not help but think that Arnav did not seem too pleased with her decision...or rather the decision she took on both their behalf's...but she knew it was the right thing to do...though her heart yearned for him...like it never had for anyone else

"Still praying?" she heard his voice and thought that she must be hallucinating...but as she opened one eye and then other, he came into focus as he stood in front of her...all freshly showered and smelling divine...much much better than the mogras she was just inhaling a second ago

"Arnav? What are you doing here?" she asked him warily as he shrugged his shoulders and sat beside her, albeit at a distance "I got up around the same time you all left...VK had told me last night that you were all going to come here...he invited me even...so I came...just to see what all the fuss was about" he said as Khushi eyed him suspiciously

"What Khushi? Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked her as she looked away "Nothing...I did not peg you as the religious kind" she said as he gave her a small smile... "I'm not...VK told me a lot about this place and it got me interested..." he said as he surveyed the pool spilling with people "Everyone is just so...colorful!" he said as Khushi smiled

"That they are...all women dress up in their finest today...My mother used to bring me here wherever we used to come to my grandfather's house...and it was especially fun when this festival came around...I think i've only attended it twice before today...but it was always so exciting..." she said as Arnav looked at with a strange glint in his eyes "You look beautiful Khushi" he said as the atmosphere suddenly changed around them bringing in a crimson hue to Khushi's cheek

"Relax...I don't have an ulterior motive for complimenting you...this sari...the colors...they look good on you...red reallu is your color...and it's bit shocking to find you completely covered for once" he said with his eyebrow raised as Khushi's mouth opened in an 'O'... she was just about to reply to him when his next words stopped her

"I thought about what you said last night Khushi...in fact I thought about it all night...nearly" he said as Khushi held her breath... "And.." he said as she wondered what he was going to say "And, you are right...we should just go back to how things were before we...Uh..that night" he said as khushi looked away...disappointed in the fact that he could not even say 'kiss' anymore...just like she hadn't the other day

"I'm glad that we can still talk freely...keeping all the other things aside...and I really want you to know that I like talking to you...you are an amazing person Khushi and I'm glad I met you" he said as khushi smiled tightly and nodded...so much for any high hopes., she thought as she saw Arnav take a huge breath...Gosh! Stop being such a hypocrite Khushi, she berated herself as arnav continued talking

"I also wanted to clear the confusion about my mother" he said as Khushi looked up suddenly and shook her head "No Arnav...you don't need to tell me anything..." she said as he sighed "There is actually nothing to tell Khushi...I share a very formal relationship with my parents...especially with my mother...I won't go too much into depth, but when I said that i'm bad with relationships, i meant it...because I have actually never had any kind of a lasting relationships...except for my best friend" he said as Khushi hung on to his every word

"I'm not telling you this to justify why I said what I did last night, but I don't believe in any other relationships except for friendship...and that's probably all I can ever offer to anyone..." he said as he felt his heart squeeze painfully...he did not know why he was telling her all this, but he felt he owed her an explanation.

"You assumed that I regretted what happened that day Khushi...I didn't...not by a long shot...but then you assumed I did and..." he said as she shifted in her seat, wondering what he was trying to say...he was painfully clear that he could only be her friend...so why go back to all that "Arnav...lets not talk about all this...lets just put everything behind us and..." she said as Arnav pursed his lips and nodded

"Yep..lets do that..." he said as she gave him a small smile and looked away towards the throng of people now walking towards the small temple on the left...an uncomfortable silence fell around them as both wondered how they should proceed...Khsuhi turned her head slowly and saw him breaking small twigs that had fallen near his feet...the silence was becoming unbearable...so she said the first thing that popped up

"What do you do beside writing Arnav?..I don't remember you mentioning your job or business" she said as Arnav smiled slightly and looked at her sideways "Trying to break the awkwardness huh?" he asked her as she smiled sheepishly "I work for a Banking and Hedge fund company...basically we get rich suckers to invest with us and reap millions while me make billions" he said as she looked on horrified

"You con them?" she asked him as he threw his head back and laughed "Pretty much...but its all legal...plus they make huge profits too...so its a win-win situation..." he said as Khushi wrinkled her nose "So, do you travel much or just sit at your desk all day?" she asked him curiously as his mouth lifted in a smile "Sit all day...except for when we are meeting clients...but its a boring job all in all...pays well though" he said as an afterthought as Khushi snorted

"So you do it for the money?" she asked him as he looked at her "That is usually why people do a job...for sustenance...how else do you live?" he asked her as she rolled her eyes "I know that...but why would you want to do something that you find boring, just to make money...do something that is fun that will sustain you, as you put it" she said making air-quotes to the last words

"Look at me for example...I have a degree in management and also had a good offer to join a reputable firm...but somehow it really wasn't for me...so I went into event management and now I am so happy and satisfied with my job, something that I look forward to everyday...even on weekends I can't wait for the week to start and get busy planning someones dream wedding...the clothes, the venues...the food...decorations..themes...its all so exciting! It doesn't pay me as well as a corporate job would...hell, it doesn't pay me even an iota of what I should get, but I feel satisfied..and happy...and I think that matters the most!" she said as Arnav felt mesmerized listening to her

The excitement on her face was infectious and he felt his heart lighten under its glow...she had put her thoughts so simply that he could not help but hope he could also say the same thing one day...that he was done with a job that he hated and instead did what he loved...openly... "Arnav?!" Khushi's voice brought him out of his thoughts as he ran a hand through his hair

"So, money...status...luxury...they don't mean anything to you? Don't you want to achieve something momentous in your life? Make something of yourself?" he asked her as she shook her head "Of course I do...but for me, achieving something momentous is to see the bridal couple's happy joyful faces on their wedding...their parents gratitude for a wedding well planned...I feel I have made something of myself as the guests leave in awe of the beauty in which two souls were united...and that is enough for me...I know that even if I don't do wedding planning anymore...whatever I do, will bring smiles to other's faces...that is what achievement for me is" she said as Arnav felt like pulling her in his arms

She really was one in a million and he was a fool to let her go...but he could not be selfish...one cannot have everything they wish for...and the way his life was structured right now, he could not make place for her...not yet... "So, how come you are writing then?" she asked as he once again had tuned out "Uh...just...I wanted to experiment" he said as she knitted her eyebrows

"Oh...but can you take a leave that long?" she asked curiously as he shrugged "Yeah...I haven't really taken many holidays...so this was a good opportunity to use those accumulated ones" he said as she nodded "So, you took all your leaves to write?...do you realize that that might be what you want to really do? Maybe deep down you want to be a writer" she said as Arnav looked away...afraid she will see the truth in his eyes

"No...its nothing like that...I just wanted to try out writing and see if it will get me somewhere..." he said as she sighed "Well, I doubt you'll go places with the book you are writing" she said as he turned towards her sharply "What?" he asked her as she shrugged her shoulders "Politics? Like really? Its boring...at least I find it boring..." she said as Arnav folded his arms and looked at her "Really? And you think everyone thinks like you? There are lots of people who love reading a good book on a political plot...especially in a country like ours where no one is sure what our Government's ideology is based on" he said as she giggled

"Touche! But it still does not have the same pull as Romance, or Horror...or Mysteries...those are what keeps you on the edge...makes you read all the way into the night..." she said as Arnav smiled inwardly... "You mean like that Pike fellow who you were praising the other day?" he asked her, mindful of the fact that this might lead him into trouble but also hoping to hear more praises for him from her mouth

"Exactly!" she said as he raised his eyebrows "His books are unputdownable...if there is such a word...I agree I'm not crazy of his chauvinistic stance towards the characters...but his stories...they are wonderful...its as if he has lived them...you can actually feel him in his books...in his words...and the fact that no one knows who he is or what he looks like, adds onto the terrific mystery!" she said as Arnav looked away...a small smile playing on his lips

"Oh well...for all you know he must be a geriatric old man...too embarrassed to come out in the open" he said as Khushi huffed and hit him on his arm "So what if he is! He must have a genuine reason to keep away from exposing himself...maybe he wants to remain anonymous because he likes it that way...he has been nominated and won so many modern literature awards in India..but he keeps away from all of them...he probably just wants to spend his fame and fandom with his family and close friends...some people are like that..." she said as Arnav went back into his thought

All the times his publisher told him about some nomination or award being bestowed on him, he felt happy that his work was getting recognised...that he made his readers happy...but not once did he have anyone to spend those happy moments with...not even Manav...will it always be like that? He wondered "What is up with you today!" Khushi's voice made him snap his eyes at hers

"You need rest Arnav...come on lets go...you keep phasing out, lets just head home" she said as the sun shined brightly on them making her squint her eyes as Arnav kept on looking at her in a daze "What?" she asked him as he stood up and looked her in the eye "If you ever come to know who Crispin Pike is...or you meet him...how would you react? What will you say?" he asked her as she looked on bewildered at his question

"Uh...I don't know...I can't really say...but if i do meet him in person, I would like to convey that his books transport me to another world...a world where I don't have to think about anything...worry about anyone...when I read his books, its as if I am the character...as if I am part of the words on the crisp paper...and that is what makes him an uthor who anyone will be honored to meet...let alone talk...so I would look into his eyes and say 'You are simply amazing Mr Pike!'" she said as Arnav's face lit up in a soft smile...and his heart fluttered as he followed her back to their house...

BTL - Chapter 12

"Tomorrow is the Kaveri Sankraman pooja at Tala Kaveri, everyone will be going, would you like to join us?" Smitha asked khushi as she stirred the curry while Khushi cut the salad for dinner...she looked up from her chopping to see Smitha looking at her curiously as khushi's face split into a knowing smile "Did amma tell you to ask me?" Khushi asked as Smitha looked down sheepishly before nodding her head

"Seriously! My mother needs to stop worrying so much about my unmarried state" Khushi said as Smitha shut off the gas and came to stand next to khushi to help her transfer the cut salad on a plate "No no, babyji...she is a mother...its her duty to worry...and you too should think about settling down now" smitha said as khushi sighed deeply and went to wash her hands

"I'm perfectly fine this way...if I find someone along the way, i'll marry...otherwise i'm not the kind of girl who needs a man in her life to complete her" khushi said as Smitha hit her palm on her forehead "Babyji, you really should not think like that...don't you want to marry and start your own family...what will happen when there is no one and you are all alone?" Smitha asked as khushi giggled

"Then i'll adopt as many cute kittens as I can and raise them as my own...they will give me company" khushi said making smitha once again shake her head at khushi while she went about getting things ready for dinner "Your generation...I don't think any of us can get through to you..." she said as khushi followed her out of the kitchen into the living room

"Leave it na Smitha, and you aren't all that old to separate our generations..." khushi said cheekily as a sudden buzz caused them to look near the coffee table in the hallway where a phone seemed to be vibrating quite agitatedly "Whose phone is that?" khushi said as she went towards it and realized its Arnav's...she picked it up and was about to go to his room when Smitha stopped her

"Sir has gone out for a walk...said he wanted fresh air...he'll be coming in anytime now" Smitha said as the phone stopped buzzing...khushi nodded at smitha and went to look out the window to see if he was anywhere in the vicinity "Did he go out now? At this time..?" she asked Smitha who nodded while placing the hot vessels on the table

"He went an hour ago when you were resting in your room...told me that he will come back by dinnertime" she said as khushi turned around, but once again the phone buzzed on the table making Smitha nod at Khushi "Maybe you should take it? It might be important..." she said before leaving the room to get some more things from the kitchen

Khushi shrugged her shoulders as she went to pick up the call, but the name on the caller id made her stop... 'Mrs Raizada', it read...she wondered who it was before quickly answering it... "Arnav! Why are you not taking your calls baby?" a woman's voice came from the other end...but due to the static disturbance she could not make out what was being said very clearly...though she did hear 'arnav' and 'baby'

Gulping down an uneasy feeling she quickly spoke "Hi, Arnav is not here...he left his phone by mistake...he should be back in sometime..." she said as the woman once again spoke something that sounded like 'What'...'who'?...khushi winced as the static got worse...she walked around a bit to catch a signal when his phone beeped once before shutting off

"Low battery" she murmured, observing the phone once before placing it back on the table...she probably should not have picked up the phone...God knows who 'Mrs Raizada' was...but then it struck her...Raizada...Arnav's surname was 'raizada'...so Mrs Raizada...? was that his relative? Was it his wife? Wait...was he married?! She panicked as unwanted thoughts started assailing her confused mind

It can be...her cousin Arun too had stored his wife's name as 'Mrs Gupta'...he had told her it was a joke amongst them...and most couple do it...to show their possessive side towards their better half...plus the woman did call him 'baby'...and only a girlfriend or wife will call you that...Was Arnav married? But...he never...oh my god! Did she kiss a married man? Did he cheat on his wife?...she held her forehead with her palm as the front door clicked open and Arnav walked in

She looked at him with an accusing look in her eyes to find him watching her warily... "Khushi? Anything..." he started asking when she picked up his phone and thrust it in his hand "Your phone" she spat at him as he looked down bewildered before looking back at her face, her eyes spitting fire at him

"Khu..." he said before she pulled him by his hand into his room before Smitha or VK saw them and shut the door before facing him...she took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes...there is no way she would let him get away if he was married

"You are married" she said and looked on as his confused eyes turned more confused before a sort of amused glint shone in them "You are asking me or telling me?" he asked her as she folded her arms over her chest and stared him down "I know Arnav...your wife called" she said as the amused look he had a few minutes ago turned completely bewildered

"Now I should ask you, are you on drugs?!" he said as khushi continued to glare at him "Don't lie or try and work up a story...your wife 'Mrs Raizada' called...nice name for you wife...shows how possessive you are...I picked up her call wondering if it was urgent since your phone kept ringing...Oh, and she called you 'baby'...so care to explain how you conveniently forgot to tell me that you are married and then ended up kissing me...cheating on your Mrs Raizada" she said as Arnav's amusement and confusion turned into irritation and slowly increasing anger

"Do you really think so low of me? That I would kiss you when I'm married? How the hell did you come to a conclusion that I am married, just because a woman called 'Mrs Raizada' calls me baby? Didn't you speak further to her and work out that its my mother!" he said as his voice went up a few decibels on the last word

Khushi looked on mutely as he ran a hand through his hair "Mrs Raizada is my mother...and yes, she calls me 'baby' when she suddenly remembers her firstborn...How could you think so cheap of me Khushi? That I would keep something like being married a secret? Forget about being married...I never even want to get married..." he said as he threw his head back and sighed

"Stop assuming things about me and for me Khushi...and its best you keep yourself away from my personal life...I don't need to explain anything to you" he said as he brushed past her and went out his door...khushi took a second more before she followed him out to see him once again walk out of the house to the utter confusion of Smitha and VK

...

His head hurt as he walked briskly up the uphill road while his stomach grumbled from hunger...he took a deep breath as he reached the gate and opened it walking directly to the guava tree...'Mrs Raizada'...he grimaced as he thought about what khushi had assumed about him...how could she!? He thought as he kicked a small pebble with his foot

But then, she couldn't be completely blamed...no one stores their mother's number under such a name...but his relationship with his mother was of a formal nature...one of the reasons he left for a walk before dinner was to clear his head of her message earlier in the day 'You should be present for the holidays to meet Lavanya. No excuses' it had said, irking him to an extent that had made him leave the house in a huff

He knew that he should have explained something to Khushi...but he did not want to...he was afraid that he'll end up telling her everything if he started...and so as always he had taken the easy way out...he told her to keep off his personal life...it was the safest way to make her stay away from him...her thoughts were plaguing him to a disturbing degree now...so much so, that it would soon start affecting his work too

He sighed as he opened the door with his key and walked into a dark corridor...he knew that everyone must have slept since it was well past 11pm...he thought of drinking a glass of milk from the kitchen when a sound coming from there made him stop...he saw the lights go on in the kitchen as he walked towards it

"You know it is foolish to avoid dinner...and go walking in an unknown hilly area in the dark..." khushi said as she pulled her hair up from her nape and tied it...she looked back to see arnav stare at her as she raised her eyebrows and gestured towards the small table in the kitchen "sit" she said as arnav wordlessly went and sat

She took out the bowls of food from the microwave one after the other and placed them in front of him...when he kept staring at her, she sighed and served him the food making him come out of his stupor "You didn't have to..." he started saying when she finished serving him and went to turn on the kettle "Think of it as a peace offering" she said as she took out a cup and poured the heated water into it over fresh mint leaves and lemon.

"I am sorry for assuming such a thing about you..." she said as she came and sat opposite him as he wolfed down the food, satiating his hunger...his eyes never leaving her face "But frankly speaking...I think I was only looking for a reason" she said as he gave her a curious look "After that...the...rain thing..." she said as he smiled inwardly "Kiss khushi..." he said as she blushed a deep crimson

"Yeah, that...I was just looking for a reason to justify why it was so wrong...why it should be something to regret when in reality..' she said keeping the sentence open ended which made arnav suddenly look up...right into her hazel eyes "When in reality?..." he asked as she shrugged making him gulp harder "Did you not regret it?" he asked her finally when she sighed and shook her head

"No Arnav...I didn't...maybe you did...I don't know, I got the feeling you did...so I thought there was no point stretching it...we have to be honest Arnav...we are attarcted to each other...lets just first accept that...it will make our life a hell lot easier" she said hoping to God that she wasn't making a fool of herself...but then took a breath of relief as he nodded slowly

She did not regret it...but had assumed he did...at least they were clear on the attraction part, he thought as a strange lightness settled in his chest region only for it to be scratched raw again as she spoke her next words "But I also know that nothing will come out of it...and when I think about it maturely...we will both move on from here...you to your life in Mumbai and me to Delhi.." she said as he continued to look at her

"So, its best we stop pretending and accept that there is something between us...and that something should be stopped before it complicates things for us...so I sincerely hope we can put all this behind us and start anew as we discussed..." she said as she finished her mint tea and got up to place the bowls inside the refrigerator

She turned around to see Arnav still sitting at the table "Say something.." she said as he sighed and looked into her eyes "Whats there to say when you have decided for both of us...Yes, I am attracted to you...and its not helping me that all I think about is you when I'm here to do my work...but yes, I will never give you false hope...you are right...this will never work...I am not a person who is good with relationships...and you seem like a person who is" he said getting up and keeping his plate in the sink before washing his hands

"Lets just put all this behind us...and then...you are anyways leaving in a few days...so its best we finish our work and go our way...separate ways" he said with a slight edge to his voice as Khushi nodded, her throat too constricted to say anything... "Thanks for staying up...I'll see you tomorrow...Good night" he said as she remained standing near the sink while he made his way to his room.

The door of his room shutting got her out of her thoughts...thought about what would he have said if she had suggested they take a chance? Would he have agreed so readily even then?...would they have sorted out something that could work? She closed her eyes to keep the betraying tears at bay as they threatened to overwhelm her...the decision was taken...there was nothing left to think or say now.

Note: The Kaveri Sankraman Pooja is held after the first harvest of rice...Coorg is famous for its 'Tala Kaveri' or the kaveri well where it is believed that the water from river kaveri resides...all woman, married and unmarried do their pooja here on this day to either ask for longevity for their husbands and a happy married life or good husbands for single women...it is said that the water collected form here on this day is as good as 'Amrit' and all women carry some back home to make payasam...this is a local Coog festival and is celebrated with a lot of pomp.